Wednesday, 11 June 2014

The School Run

One morning, in the not too distant future I am sure that getting my kids to school  is going to send me totally round the twist! I am positive it is a mission designed to send me entirely doo-lally and I repeat it five times a week! I have been doing the school run for over ten years and as Lucy is yet to start school I have another ten years to go. Talk  about being a glutton for punishment! 
 Getting them all up, washed, dressed, fed and organised with everything they need for the day is a mammoth task. This is complicated further by all the school activities for which they need their own clothes, wellies, swimming kits, lunch boxes, reading folders, and other equipment. They have forest school, swimming lessons, non uniform days and so on. I don't recall my own school days being so complicated.  It is like packing for a summer holiday......every week!

When we finally get out of the front door I seem to be following the same script every morning bumping into mainly the same people each day.  In actual fact, I repeat myself so often I am thinking of just making a recording of my voice so I can just hit the play button to save me speaking till I've woken up properly. (For the definition of 'woken up properly' just imagine several cups of tea have been consumed and you will get the idea!)Anyway back to the recording, it would go something like this....... 

'Ok lets go, is everyone paying attention, this is a busy road,  mind the poo there, hiya, kids mind the poo! Good ta, how are you?, James please let go of the pram there is not enough space to walk past the bus stop like that, how are you?, hiya, mind the poo, it is everywhere this morning! Ok is everyone paying attention and listening, this is a very busy road. We are crossing now, Don't let go of the pram, well done.  Hello, good thanks, how are you?, hiya, are you well?, fine ta, kids mind the poo! hello, morning, hiya. 
Hi, Kerrie please don't walk in that poo, hiya, Hiya, how are you?, fine ta, good good, how are you? Kids don't pull on the pram please, it makes it heavy when I am pushing it up this hill, no  you can't walk on the wall you ask me every morning, it is wet you will slip and fall,  hi, have you got all your things, your trainers are still under the pram, have a lovely day, oops sorry I need L plates, haha you would think after 5 kids I could drive this thing by now eh! Hiya, hello, yes see you later, bye  (insert numerous waves at regular intervals) 
Just think in the winter I could wrap my scarf around my 
mouth to keep out the cold and leave the tape running.

 For now it is summer and as we live in Wales that means a large proportion of our mornings will involve going out in the rain. 
 On Monday it was torrential! You would think with so much rain falling on Wales we would be used to it by now but there is something about the rain that seems to wash away everyone's common sense. 
This in turn makes me act like a grump. It is a good job the thoughts which run through my head as I negotiate the obstacles placed into our path are not available for anyone but me to hear. Obstacles such as the people who decide that the middle of the pavement under a huge golf style umbrella is the perfect place to hold a conversation completely oblivious that we are getting even wetter while we have to wait to get past them.

 There is a group of parents who are seemingly convinced that if a drop of rain should dare to fall onto the heads of their precious little darlings they will melt away. They park so close to the front door it looks like they are trying to enrol their cars as pupils! I understand their desire to not let their children arrive at school soaking wet, I share that same wish. 
The problem is that while they are parking on the yellow lines as near to the entrance as they can without mounting the pavement so that their children don't get wet, my children are getting drenched because we are trying to get safely across the road and their illegally parked cars are blocking both the road and the visibility. 

On the flip side, for everyone who acts like they have had a brain bypass on the morning school run, I am glad to say they are matched by other people whose small gestures of offering to take one of the children to school or stopping their cars so we can safely cross the road, really do make all the difference. On that brighter note I had better go to bed because there are only eight hours and forty-five minutes until the next school run..........

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